And finally a new entry.
I created this blog in 2015 with the thought of reinventing my virtual space. I wanted a blog that feels more like me in contrast with the beauty blog I started with. I had ideas in my head that would not let me sleep for days and, for a moment, I thought I figured it all out- what I wanted for this blog. I thought I had to figure it all out to even start at all. Ironically, that perception made me hesitate to post anything, something.
Consequently, maintaining this blog became tedious and, well, less inspiring. I forced myself to perfect this blog. I wanted it to look great, sleek and modern. I obsessed about making this blog well-known. I had big ideas and that was all I really had- ideas. As days and months passed, I had nothing but uninspired posts because, in reality, I saw my life neither exciting nor adventurous.
I used to love blogging- I spent hours, even days, crafting my posts, from the aesthetics of the website to the substance of blog entries. Then, one day, I just stopped. I vanished as if the old, passionate me died and the new, uninspired me buried it six feet on the ground. I realized how my life was not how I imagined it to be. All my expectations led to disappointments. All I saw were my failures. I experienced a period of self-loathing, of self-pity. How can I even post about these things... these feelings?
Today, though, I am giving myself another chance to be happy; right at this moment, I am freeing myself from doubts, disappointments and false expectations. Who cares about failures? Everyone makes them. And who even dare count? Failure is part of success. And whatever mistakes I made do not set my life once and for all. There will be days of wallowing in self-pity; there will be days of terrible fall leaving me broken and limp. But I'm ready to rise again and again and again #soreadybornready because giving up is never an option.
This blog is my happy place, my little virtual world where I can be spontaneous and free-spirited. In the next four months, I will not have the luxury of time for lengthy posts and extra-lit photoshopped images and layout but I AM HERE to stay. That old Maggie I buried with my passion for life and art has been exhumed and revived. And while I am still struggling to find my peace (because that old me never really rested in peace #punintented), I am determined to live my life with no regrets.
Ending this post with some random quote I saw on Pinterest.
"Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows".
- author unknown
'Til my next post,
M A G G I E
